New Boundaries

Creating new patterns of behavior, new expectations, and new boundaries is essential for divorced parents. Once your divorced, your lives are now sepparate, even if it means you have frequent exchanges with your child(ren). I think this is especially difficult if a home used to be shared by both parents and one moved out due to divorce. The other parent may still feel the right to just wlk-in without knocking. This is only one example, but its a clear indication that new boundaries may need to be put into place by first talking about your new expectations of knocking and waiting until the door is answered. Changing the locks in an active option as well.

These new boundaries will end up protecting you, your past spouse, and your child(ren). For example, if you have a date spend the night and your past spouse arrives early. This situation could introduce a new person into your child’s life that you are not ready to do. It could develop into an on-the-spot arguement (also not ideal). As a newly divorced parent or a divorced parent whose life is changing, think about the new boundaries that need to be created to continue a peaceful, loving co-parenting relationship.

New Boundaries

Creating new patterns of behavior, new expectations, and new boundaries is essential for divorced parents. Once your divorced, your lives are now sepparate, even if it means you have frequent exchanges with your child(ren). I think this is especially difficult if a home used to be shared by both parents and one moved out due to divorce. The other parent may still feel the right to just wlk-in without knocking. This is only one example, but its a clear indication that new boundaries may need to be put into place by first talking about your new expectations of knocking and waiting until the door is answered. Changing the locks in an active option as well.

These new boundaries will end up protecting you, your past spouse, and your child(ren). For example, if you have a date spend the night and your past spouse arrives early. This situation could introduce a new person into your child’s life that you are not ready to do. It could develop into an on-the-spot arguement (also not ideal). As a newly divorced parent or a divorced parent whose life is changing, think about the new boundaries that need to be created to continue a peaceful, loving co-parenting relationship.

For personbal free advice, go to :www.thelovingdivorce.com

or buy the book: The Loving Divorce, written by Dr. LeeAnne Del Rio

It’s A New Year! Try A New Approach!

At the begining of every year, it’s ideal to sit quietly for a moment and assess how your co-parneting relationship is going and how your child(ren) is doing.

I believe that every day is a new day to forgive, try something different, become a better parent, and/ or design your children’s live for the best possible outcomes.

Personally, I will continue to balance my personal needs for dating privacy with my exhusbands, while simonaeously inviting them into my home and family homes for holidays, birthdays, and other family related outings. In the previous year, I spent the most holiday and family outings time with my exhusband. The kids seemed to be at a deeper level peace because they shared time with us together and saw that we had become friends. Althugh I may not consider my exhusbands friends, as we co=parnet together, become as flexible as we can, and live with our children’s best interest in mind, we became allies… all of the small stuff melts away when you realize there needs to be a team effort.

This is not to say that these moments didn’t come at a cost. I’ve been through eye-rolling conversations, de-escalated arguements, had to share family time and uninvite boyfriends for the comfort of my exhusband for holidays, and a never-ending list of frustrations to make sure my children don’t have to witness the anger and hurt I feel over my divorces.

The good news is… it’s working!!!!

Please feel free to ask me any personal questions or receive personalized divorce advice on my website: www.thelovingdivorce.com

Dr. LeeAnne Del Rio