Creating new patterns of behavior, new expectations, and new boundaries is essential for divorced parents. Once your divorced, your lives are now sepparate, even if it means you have frequent exchanges with your child(ren). I think this is especially difficult if a home used to be shared by both parents and one moved out due to divorce. The other parent may still feel the right to just wlk-in without knocking. This is only one example, but its a clear indication that new boundaries may need to be put into place by first talking about your new expectations of knocking and waiting until the door is answered. Changing the locks in an active option as well.
These new boundaries will end up protecting you, your past spouse, and your child(ren). For example, if you have a date spend the night and your past spouse arrives early. This situation could introduce a new person into your child’s life that you are not ready to do. It could develop into an on-the-spot arguement (also not ideal). As a newly divorced parent or a divorced parent whose life is changing, think about the new boundaries that need to be created to continue a peaceful, loving co-parenting relationship.
For personbal free advice, go to :www.thelovingdivorce.com
or buy the book: The Loving Divorce, written by Dr. LeeAnne Del Rio
